Journeys of The Soul - It's All Made Up!
Jake, Angelique and Assaji were sitting cross-legged at the mouth of the cave and had been there for several hours, sharing stories and reveling in each other’s company.
Assaji was preparing himself to exit the cave after two years of self-imposed solitary confinement.
His Master had sent word that he must finalise his exile and return to the monastery within seven sunrises and prepare himself for his next challenging portion of his awakening. He had also instructed him to share his company with two young people who would visit him daily during that last week.
It was Angelique’s and Jakes curiousity and youthfulness that would greatly assist Assaji to assimilate back into the life he had left behind.
“Everything in moderation,” his Master would tell him repeatedly over the years “And always choose the middle path.”
Having been close to wanting to end his life on more than one occasion, Jake queried Assaji with “Was there ever a time when you felt like you wanted to give up on life; like what is the point of it all?”
Assaji closed his eyes for a moment, dived into the stillness within and with barely discernible tears in his eyes he said “Yes, there was a time a few months into my silent retreat from the world, when my ego took advantage of my vulnerability and poured out its objections into my mind.”
“You are not good enough yet!”
“You are never going to become a Master, give up this foolishness!”
“Go back to the comfort of your bed and colleagues!”
“On and on it relentlessly went, with me becoming entangled deeper and deeper into the morass of its negativity.” Assaji quietly spoke.
“Then one morning, after nights of sleeplessness, despair and losing control of my mind, I sharpened a stick with which I intended to impale myself upon.”
“At that precise moment I was lining up the stick to my abdomen, an exquisite wood owl flew into the cave and alighted onto a nearby rock”
“ I quickly came to my senses, became fully present and took stock of what I was about to do”.
“Eyeball to eyeball, soul to soul, the wise visitor conveyed telepathically to me, that “You didn’t come into this incarnation to give up!”
“Your thoughts are just that, thoughts, they are not real!”
That evening, in front of the warm fire in the tiny room they had rented to access the cave, Jake was ominously silent and upon Angelique asking “Is everything okay?”, he burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably in her arms.
“I realise now,” Jake conveyed, “That I have been carrying around for years, all this pain, suffering, hate, venom and dislike from my childhood, my parents and worse of all, towards myself!” These were the stories going around and around in my head, getting further embellished with every episode and dragging me deeper and deeper into the abyss.”
“I made it all up!” “It was all made up like a compelling story you cannot put down!”
“Sure I had a tough upbringing, but I realise now that my parents did the best they could with what they had at their disposal.” “In their own way, they tried to demonstrate their love for me and my brother, but they were too deeply immersed on their own shit to be able to do much for us.”
Jake’s sobbing got deeper and deeper until he was almost hyperventilating, as his years of unobserved and suppressed grief poured out. Angelique held him, without saying a word or interrupting this profound release, knowing this would be a life-changing purge for Jake.
For what seemed hours, Jake sobbed, laughed, sobbed some more and eventually let out a deep sigh, accompanied by “Oh boy, that was huge, but I can tell you it is a fantastic relief to let all that go. I feel so much lighter, cleaner and focused now.”
Angelique smiled that knowing smile and held Jake in a loving embrace.
“You did it Jake,” she whispered, “You had the courage and bravery to face your past and demons, well done Honey, you just did yourself and the world a great favour ."